Merry Christmas!

Holiday greetings, from our house, and the Dreamhouse, where JJ the cat has now taken up temporary residence.

Current Obsession: HAMILTON (Yay Hamlet!)

Lin-Manuel Miranda leading the November 25 Ham4Ham perfor­mance. Photo: Mark Peterson/Reduxpictures as seen in New York Magazine.  See Lenny in the bottom left corner? OK...half of her? :)

The soundtrack to Lin-Manuel Miranda's brilliant Hamilton has been on constant rotation in our house since early this Fall and I don't expect that to change any time soon.

If you haven't yet found yourself under the spell of this master and his masterpiece I've got some suggested viewing for you...

It all started at the White House in 2011. As Lenny would say, "prepare to be amazed":



The standing O from the President was prophetic.

A few years later, that became THIS:



And the press and mainstream success has been flooding in. Check out Lin's Wheel of Freestyle on the Tonight Show:



That day Lenny came home from school and told me she wanted to listen to Hamilton and paint abstracts. Parenting WIN. Click here to see 36 seconds of awesomeness.


And finally, on our recent trip to NYC at #Ham4Ham with Céline and Lenny.  MEGA exciting to be there and see Lin-Manuel in person.  Click here to check that out.

Yeah, this show hits a bunch of my sweet-spots, American History, Politics, Broadway and Hip Hop so it makes sense that it would speak to me. But it's genius seems to be nearly universally accepted. Which is such an exciting thing to witness.  Most exciting for me is, I think, feeling this excited by a piece of theatre again. I don't think I've felt this way in 20 years. It feels amazing to be completely consumed by a piece of art. I'm very grateful for the joy this show has given me.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

It was an amazing parade! We had front row seats right near the starting point and got to see the extravaganza up close and personal! And with that, I'm checking another item off my life list!



I took hundreds of photos, but for now I'll leave you with some of my favourite people and things: Snoopy, Woodstock, Questlove and the gang from Sesame Street.

Lenny take New York City

After we'd been in New York for two days Lenny turned to me and said, "MOM! Let's pretend we're New Yorkers! We can talk about how boring Toronto is*!"

*Don't worry, Toronto, when we got home she announced that her home felt "fresh and new to her".

My kid took to New York (or as she would say You Nork) like a fish to water.

We'd all be here all day if I got into too much detail about this trip (and if you follow me on social media you saw it all happen in real time) but I feel the need to record a few moments for posterity. It was one of the best trips I've ever taken and it served as a reminder of the joy that friendship, travel and music can bring.

Our dear friend and gracious host Céline made sure that Len's first time in the big apple was full of magic. Our first night in the city we were treated like VIPs at Birdland.  The kiddo had such a blast that first night (jazz! showtunes! personal attention! buttered noodles!) that we went back several times during our stay. Each visit was more magical than the next. Birdland is now one of her favourite places on the planet!

^^^ Lenny gets up close and personal with the best and the brightest (and nicest) in NYC at Birdland. L - R, Christine Ebersole, Billy Stritch, Jim Caruso and Kenny Ascher.  Special thanks to Gianni Valenti, owner of Birdland, for taking Lenny under his wing. Seriously, these are some of the greatest memories ever, right here.

We saw the sights, including Barnum's Bones (DINOS!!!) and Lenny did a lot of "nature sketching" in Central Park.

I'd say seeing Stevie Wonder close out his Songs in the Key of Life tour at Madison Square Garden is a great "first concert" wouldn't you?  She was out of her seat dancing and asleep by intermission. So it was kind of perfect.

By the end of the trip, Lenny was convinced that she was, in fact, Eloise. Not one to discourage this kind of thinking, we had to come home with a full Eloise costume, naturally.  A few more updates from the trip to come...

Let's Go to the EX! (a little movie)

Yesterday, the Canadian National Exhibition opened their doors for the 2015 season and Lenny and I could not have been more excited.  To celebrate our inaugural visit, I made a little movie on my phone. Hope you like it. :)



Next time, we're finding that Frosted Flakes Chicken. I'm too curious not to try it.

The things I never anticipated about motherhood.

I expected to be surprised when I became a mother. 

No, that's not the right word. I anticipated surprises. I anticipated that this new person in my life would change things. Obviously. But I wasn't prepared. We're never prepared. I mean, of course, there's the Love. The Love you hear about but can't understand until you experience it. I always found that so condescending when I was childless (by choice). "You'll never understand until it's your kid." 

But damn if it isn't just a little bit true. 

Becoming Lenny's mom changed the way I see everything.

I never anticipated that she would be my favourite person to hang out with. Even when she was just a toddler. How could someone this little be such good company? Sure, she's exhausting a lot of the time, but she's fun and funny and just a blast to be around. I guess I knew I'd love her, but I didn't know that I'd be so lucky as to really, really like her too.

I never anticipated that becoming a mom would take my personal goals and just, wham-o, turn them on their head. I thought maybe I would become more apathetic about work, less engaged in the things I loved to do. The complete opposite happened. It's as if I see myself more clearly now and I want to achieve big things, not just for myself but for her too. When she was 4 weeks old I did my first photography assignment for the National Post. When she turned 2 years old I went freelance as a Social Media Marketing Consultant. I absolutely L O V E what I do. Before I became a mom going to work every day was often a struggle. Now, I relish it. That is...unexpected.

I want to be a good role model. And I want to foster my passions, just for my own satisfaction too. In fact, I have a much clearer idea of what those passions are now that I'm on this side of the motherhood divide. I did not anticipate that at all. What a gift this particular realization has been for me. I feel more secure and more driven than I have in my life. I can't help but think that the purpose I've found being Lenny's mom has something to do with that. Thank you for that, kiddo. Thank you for the gift of perspective, the gift of clarity and the gift of being your mother. Most days I can hardly believe my good fortune.

Weekends with Dancing Girl 416

If I'm going to be honest about it, there were a good two years there were weekends meant, quite literally, nothing to me.  The Robeau and I were both freelancing and Lenny wasn't in school yet.  One day just sort of flowed into the next. We were likely to be off gallivanting on a Tuesday and burning the midnight oil on a Saturday. Didn't matter.

Now that Little Miss is in JK, weekends are suddenly a thing again.  The last two have been humdingers.

Here's how we closed out April, while the Robeau was working on the West Coast.

Here's Lenny with one of her all-time favourite people, Miss Kelly.  They're kind of soul mates, in case the matching outfits didn't give that away. Last weekend we were fortunate enough to see Monty Alexander with his band the Harlem Kingston Express at beautiful Koerner Hall. Thank you for asking us to join you, Miss Kelly.  Here's just a taste of what an absolute treat Monty Alexander is in concert:

I wish I could have managed to sneak some video of my kid dancing during the show, because, well, there are no words, you guys.  She was on another level that afternoon. I'm not even sure how to describe it.

And then she got to meet "Mr. Monty" backstage after the show.

She also got to hang with the beautiful and talented vocalist Caterina Zapponi (who also happens to be Mrs. Alexander). Cat was very kind to put up with Lenny dancing in her sight-lines throughout most of the show, too. When she got up to sing a number during the encore, I thought I'd have to pick Len's chin up off the floor. "Miss Cat" left her in awe. Hello, hero worship.

Since the concert hall was right next to one of Lenny's favourite places in the city, the Royal Ontario Museum, we popped in for a visit after the concert and got to meet the new dinosaur.  That sounds like an oxymoron.  Maybe I should say the newly discovered dinosaur? Anyway, here they are. She looks almost as pleased as she did backstage. Kids and dinosaurs, man. What's that all about?

And that? ^^^ That never gets old.

The next day, we headed down to Maple Leaf Square Jurassic Park to cheer on the Raptors while they played what turned out to be the last game in the first round of the NBA playoffs.  It was a bad game. And a terrible series. There's just no two ways about that. But we had a lot of fun before the game. And we can't wait to see our Raptors back and better than ever next season.

The folks at MLSE really do know how to throw a party. And this time, I managed to get a few seconds of Dancing Girl 416's moves on video. She looks like Paddington Bear with that tshirt over her faux fur coat. What a spectacle. She's different, alright.

If there's one thing I always say, it's that 4 year olds love 2 Chainz. No, wait, nobody says that.

And if that wasn't enough fun, the powers that be caught wind of her dance moves and gave us VIP seating to watch the game from the grandstand. I'm sticking with this kid. She brings the party wherever she goes.

The real highlight of the day was when THIS happened.

Forget highlight of the day. That was a LIFE highlight. She loves him so much, and I have got to give whoever it is inside that costume props for making an extra effort to make a young fan happy. They don't call this guy the best mascot in the NBA for nothing.

Who's got it better than me and this little ketchup covered mover and shaker? Nobody. Hashtag blessed all over the place in this mutha.

Programming Note: All new season of Curious George starts on PBS this week!

Today CURIOUS GEORGE: A Halloween Boo Fest returns to PBS KIDS! Anyone who has already seen the Curious George Halloween special knows that it is an instant classic, so, you know, hold on to your hats!  If the kids in your life are anything like Lenny then you've been watching it all year long.  The big news?  The annual airing of Boofest is kicking off season 9 of Curious George with a whole week of brand new episodes!

Season nine!!! That's staying power.  I'm starting to think that the new season of Curious George is becoming as much of ritual in this house as picking out a pumpkin, enjoying the colourful foliage and realizing I don't like Pumpkin Spice Lattes as much as I think I do.  A big part of last Fall was the season 8 premiere starring Carol Burnett.  Lenny still wants a front-loader and I still tear up a little bit when I think of George tugging on his ear.

This year the new adventures with George and my not so secret crush, The Man with the Yellow Hat, debut on PBS KIDS October 28-30.  Plot lines include George testing his super spy skills and exploring an aviation museum. October 28 features the premiere of “Submonkey,” an underwater adventure that includes the song “Down, Down, Down,” performed by Belinda Carlisle (be still my grew-up-in-the-80's heart!).

The week of Halloween will also feature Halloween-themed episodes from other PBS KIDS shows, including DINOSAUR TRAIN, DANIEL TIGER’S NEIGHBORHOOD, WILD KRATTS, and more. Check your local listings.

Small?

There was an incident today at school. Apparently a boy followed Lenny around during playtime repeating "you're small, you're small" as a taunt. She's really not, but whatever kid. Anyway, I guess she took it for a while and then she wheeled around and covered his mouth with her hands.  

So, you know, proud she's defending herself here, but now we have to have the talk. The talk about how first of all, you're not supposed to touch another kid like that and secondly, hey, don't take it personally. He's just teasing you. Let it go. Let it goooooo....

We ask her about this and she, who has told us very little about her days at school and claims that she knows no names says, nonchalantly "oh yeah, that's *Carlos"  

Beat.

Beat.

WHA?

The Robeau looked at her and said next time he tries bugging you by saying "you're small", just walk away.

I said, the next time he says "you're small" say "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

I'm going to get sent to the Principal's office, aren't I?

*The name of the teaser has been changed to protect...well...everyone...

The Kitchen Diaries: Grounded by Basil.

While I've been slowly easing into the changes that having Lenny in school have brought, I'm still feeling somewhat...rudderless.  There are many changes afoot with my work life as well.  I recently wrapped with an amazing client after two great years of managing their social media efforts (shout out to Butterball Canada!) and I'm about to get started working with a new client (which I can't talk about yet because I signed a non-disclosure agreement) but the start date has been moved and now I'm sort of playing a waiting game.  Yes, I have plenty to keep me busy with other freelance work and things around the house.  Yes, I could relax and enjoy some down time.  But the reality is, despite all that, I'm still feeling scattered and a little directionless.

So while I tried to get my head in the game today, I took a few minutes out to make myself a nice breakfast.  I brewed some coffee and made some toast and scrambled two perfect eggs.  I scattered some fresh basil on top from a basil plant on my windowsill that my friend Louisa brought over last week.  And right then, I had what I can only describe as a moment of clarity.

I can still smell the basil on my fingers.  It brings me a great sense of joy and fulfilment.  I feel anchored by it?  I do.  I feel grounded.  In a good way.



This makes me search back over the last couple of weeks to think of other calm moments and I realize that almost all of them are attached to cooking and eating.

---

It's Labour Day Monday and we're taking it easy at home.  Lenny has a cold and we want to make sure that she gets better before her first day of school on Thursday.  I consider making her chicken soup because she's not well and has never had it (how did that happen?) but instead I ask her what she wants and the request comes in for mashed potatoes. Classic comfort food.  What to cook with it?  There is some stew beef in the freezer so I thaw it and then braise it all afternoon.  Onions, carrots and parsnips are soft and flavourful.  The beef stock simmers down to almost nothing until I add more stock to create a nice sauce.  The whole thing is scented with Garlic and Bay.  It's rustic and delicious and the beef is as tender as can be, but hasn't fallen apart.  The leftovers make a beautiful lunch the next day.  I think I could eat this dish every day.  It makes me want to curl up with a good book and listen to The Velvet Underground.

---

I've been threatening to make hummus for years.  I know it's not hard and way more cost effective than buying it pre made but I haven't done it.  I finally bust out the food processor and give it a go.  I keep it simple: chick peas, garlic, lemon, tahini and olive oil.  Too much garlic.  Like way too much.  And I love garlic.  I end up having to add another can of chick peas to balance the flavours.  It ends up tasty but there is so much.  Not sure how long it will take us to eat it all.

---

Cauliflower is on sale for $1 a head so we buy several for making soup.  Sure, Mark Twain said "Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education", but I like the stuff.  I rough chop the crumbly florets and the thick stems and roast them in the oven with olive oil, salt and pepper.  The next day I simmer the already soft and flavourful cauliflower in a mix of vegetable stock and water (4 cups each) with some onion powder, garlic powder and cajun spices. Later that afternoon I puree the whole mess and it makes for a silky, golden brown coloured soup.  We eat it for dinner and freeze the rest for one of those days down the road when we have neither the will or time to prepare dinner.  I swear that next time I will make some croutons to float on top with a handful of fresh herbs.  That may not happen, but I tell myself it will.

That's the thing about cooking.  The promise of old comforts and new horizons are endless.  Anything can happen, but even if it fails, there's still the smell of that basil, bringing me back to earth.

Even the crusts.

No sooner did I hit publish on my last (angst ridden) post then Lenny came home for lunch and ate her Peanut Butter sandwich on brown, grape tomatoes and pretzels all up.  Even the crusts.  She's been lethargic lately, getting over a bad cold and dealing with all of these major shifts in her life.  Today she seemed back to normal.  Happy to be home, happy to go back to school...happy.  And suddenly, my guilt is almost entirely gone and I'm happy again too.  I feel like I've exhaled for the first time in a week.

The latest addition to my home office courtesy Oh Joy for Target

Is parenthood designed to make you feel guilty?

My baby started school on Thursday.  And I kind of felt like I'd been hit by a truck.  It's hard to let them grow up.  And yes, when she's starting high school or college and I remember how gutted I felt when she left for JK I'm sure I'll laugh at my folly, but for now, it's HARD.

Change is HARD.  That's the word that keeps presenting itself to me as I live this.  It's HARD.  And I feel guilty about that because I know that there are other things out there that are harder.  I've lived things that are harder.  And I'm proud of her too.  But I'm also worried.  And the fact that I'm finding this hard?  Well, I'm feeling pretty guilty about that. 

Maybe I'm supposed to feel guilty?  Is parenthood designed to make you feel guilty?

Don't answer that.  There is no right answer.  Just slide a coffee under the door and back away.

One of the reasons I'm finding my reaction to this interesting is because when Lenny was a pre-schooler I had no guilt in doing a lot of the things that new moms are told to feel guilty about.  Formula feeding? Check.  Screen time? Check. Leaving her behind so I could take a trip alone when she was 4 months old? Check.  I knew that I was doing what was right for us and I knew that she was happy.  Who cares what anyone else thinks?  I'm feeling the guilt now, I think, in part because so much of this is out of my control.  Maybe?  I'm not sure.  AND EVEN THAT IS MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY.

Other things making me feel guilty in no particular order:

- The consumption or non consumption of her breakfast, lunch or dinner.  

- The amount and quality of her sleep.

- The state of her hair.  Is it too messy?  Will she be able to focus if it's in her eyes?

- Did I use my time while she was away wisely?  (Cue a secondary list of guilty feelings around my work life here).

- Not enjoying every moment with her when she is home.  Suddenly, it's like I can't find her annoying, even if she's legit annoying because she's away for 5 hours a day?  That makes no sense, MAN!  

- Why is my house so messy?  Why won't she put her toys away?  How many ways have I failed her because she isn't motivated to put her toys away?

- ...and the number one thing making me feel guilty right now...MY GUILT.  Hashtag stupid mom guilt is stupid.

Now would be the appropriate time for me to write some manifesto about how I'm not going to let the mom guilt get me down.  About how I'm invested in my work life and my friendships and how important "me time" is.  The thing is, I'm not in that place yet.  I'm still trying to navigate this new phase.  I'm now a WAHM with a kid in full time school and the most important thing is making sure that she's secure and thriving.

And by the way, it's only day 3.  I'm going to try and let go of the guilt for now and just ride the wave of change.  I mean, I'm not going to, but I'm going to try and at least that's a start.

In Pictures: Summer 2014

I mean...wasn't it just May?  We've been keeping super busy this Summer with all sorts of good times, especially birthdays.  Lenny is four.  It's hard to believe how quickly time has flown.  That whole thing about the years being short and the days being long?  So on the money.

Lenny wasn't the only one with a birthday.  Our friend Matthew is ONE!  Isn't he handsome?  

Beautiful Girls

Great brunch spot with great people in the Junction Triangle.  

A trip to the ROM always means a trip to Starbucks too.

My first attempt at growing food is actually yielding results.  So shocked.

 It wouldn't be Summer without a few trips to the C.N.E.  

With my Mama

Farmer Len is already a better driver than me.

A visit with Cousin / Auntie Laura

Getting ready to march in the Caribbean Festival Parade where I was the official photographer for the PanAm Games.

I took a conference call at the beach last week.  Moments like these remind me of why Freelance Life is THE BEST.

Derek Jeter's last game in Toronto with my girls...

Perhaps the most exciting development in our household this Summer was the addition of J.J.  Lenny named him after the Robeau (J.J. is short for Jim Junior) and I'm happy to report that this handsome Russian Blue youngster is fitting in quite nicely.  I've missed having a cat in the house.

Fall, here we come!  It's going to be a big one...

Pics are from my Instagram feed or courtesy Aunt Mo.