Who's the Ad Wizard that came up with that one?

Say you're going to give a month an extra day every few years. You're really going to choose February? Really?

From my friend, married mother of two. The whore.

Hi,

Had to get stuff ready for my bro's wedding this weekend. Popped in to Walmart went to the check-out and realized I have: 2 pairs of pantyhose, a lipstick and a box of condoms....

I am ready for whoreing!!!!

Y

The Emancipation of Kenneth

There was a period in the 90's when you couldn't leave your house without seeing billboards for Mariah Carey records. You remember - "Glitter" "Rainbow" "Sparkles" "Butterfly" "Unicorn" - whatever. There was something about her persona that brought out some sort of inner High School bully I didn't know I had. She made me want to take her Trapper Keeper, which I'm sure was covered in puffy stickers and hit her in the head with it. When she screamed, I imagined her doing it in "whistle range".

Then, she got a little sad. She had the breakdown and gained some weight and I started to feel for her a little bit. And then when she had her "comeback" she was a survivor and well, I could read about her and not want to put my fist through some dry wall. It got to the point where I was amused by her. Had I grown or had Mimi?

Anyway, the truth remains that I will never buy one of her records. But I do sort of dig this video. "Kenneth" is the new "Butterfly".

How can the Oscars have happened when I haven't even done my Grammy wrap up yet?

Things said while watching the Grammy ceremony from a hotel room in Niagara Falls:

"Who is THAT?"
"I don't know. Who is THAT?"
"This is that Kanye song I like...don't judge me."
"Tina Turner's being launched into space."
"Aretha's wig is looking a lot better than it did when I saw her at Holt Renfrew."
"Yeah, lots of people wear wigs."
"Look! Look! It's Bryden playing 'giant trumpet' with Feist! Bryden's on the GRAMMY'S"
"Why are we still excited every time we see Bryden on TV?"
"Oh, I feel strangely protective towards Amy Winehouse. Look how surprised she is..."
"Incaaaarcaraaated!!!!"
"HERBIE???? HANCOCK??? HERBIE HANCOCK!!!!"
"Yes, we can..."

Things said while watching the Oscar ceremony while on my couch with a flu ridden Robeau:

"Eew! Eew! I cannot believe Seacrest just pimped poor Jennifer Garner out to Gary Busey!"
"Just watching that makes me want to wash my neck. I hope she has some antibacterial lotion in her purse."
"Regis!"
"Super Delegates...ha..."
"Good boy, Stewart"
"Why aren't they doing Supporting Actor off the top?"
"Spike! Spike and Snipes! Look at Spike's lapel!"
"I love montages."
"Why don't they just mic Nicholson?"
"All the winners seem to be French and Italian."
"Boy, when Menken & Schwartz are good they're so good and when they're bad....they're soooo bad."
"Well deserved"
"Well deserved"
"Yeah, you should go see that"
"Diabo Cody!"
"Well deserved"
"Well deerved"
"I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!"
"zzzzzzzzz..."

Somebody has just about run out of toner.

Man, they need to FIRE whoever wrote "That's not change you can believe in, that's change you can Xerox". Ouch. For real.

Xerox must be pissed.

---


$29,000 : XEROX CORPORATION POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE (X-PAC) of DC

sponsor: XEROX CORPORATION

pac contributions: $29,000 total
$5,000 on 2005-03-24 to LIEBERMAN, JOSEPH I, D of CT
$5,000 on 2006-11-02 to CLINTON, HILLARY RODHAM, D of NY
$5,000 on 2006-08-07 to SHAYS, CHRISTOPHER, R of CT
$5,000 on 2006-09-21 to JOHNSON, NANCY L., R of CT
$3,000 on 2006-09-07 to SLAUGHTER, LOUISE M, D of NY
$1,000 on 2005-10-21 to ENZI, MICHAEL B, R of WY
$1,000 on 2006-09-20 to KUHL, JOHN, R of NY
$1,000 on 2005-03-18 to SLAUGHTER, LOUISE M, D of NY
$1,000 on 2006-09-21 to REYNOLDS, THOMAS M, R of NY
$1,000 on 2005-05-06 to BOEHNER, JOHN A, R of OH
$1,000 on 2006-11-06 to DAVIS, THOMAS M III, R of VA

I'm Addicted to Head ON.

I cannot stop applying it directly to my forehead.

I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter

Lou Dobbs proved once again that not only does he just does not get it, he doesn't listen.

To call on Obama and Patrick to "reconsider the rhetoric" that famous speeches like "I Have A Dream" are "just words" shows that Dobbs didn't see the crucial question mark at the end of those statements.

I feel nothing but empathy for a class act like Candy Crowley being forced to share the screen with this dangerous, ignorant, wannabe journalist.

Do your homework, Lou. Or at least stop pontificating long enough to actually hear what you are supposed to be outraged about.

Happy V-day, y'all!

It takes a lot of salt.

It's been a loooong week, mofos. Long. So the Robeau and I are getting out of town. Back Monday. In the meantime, I wish you all a very relaxing weekend. Sleep in. Take a bath. Cook a chicken or something.

Meet Zee Noix

Ladies, Gentlemen, Lurkers...may I introduce you to the shiniest new blog in town (drumroll, please) ZEE NOIX! Regular readers of my little corner of the intornet will recognize Zee Noix as my oldest and dearest girlfriend, who I've most recently chatted about here , here , here and here.

She is funny, smart and she takes care of people. This picture makes me laugh:


It's her wedding day, and I'm her Maid of Honour. Even though I'm supposed to be taking care of her, she knows me well enough after (at that point) 25 years to know that I would need more help getting ready than she would. Zee Noix in a nutshell.

Drop by her new blog (where she's giving her take on being a business woman taking a year off to be with her new baby in the burbs) and show her some love, won't you?

Goodnight, Eva...

Our happy little home got a little smaller and a little less happy this week when Eva the Cat left us on Monday morning. She had a good, long life - but that doesn't make us miss her any less. The Robeau met Eva when he was working as a Music Director at the original Toronto location of The Second City, the Old Firehall. All the greats from the SCTV era got their start there: Martin Short, John Candy, and the rest. Later, Mike Meyers cut his teeth there before hitting the big time and later still, Eva the Cat, adopted from The Humane Society because they described her as "a little comedian" came to live at this place, where she would earn her reputation as a formidable mouser.


When the Old Firehall closed its doors in 1997, The Second City moved to a new, swanky location that would not allow a "theatre cat" on the premises. That's when the Robeau, well known in these parts as a lover and protector of felines everywhere took Eva into his home. Six years ago, I showed up, like another stray, and Eva accepted me into her home. We've long suspected that the Humane Society employee that described her as "a little comedian" must have dated a comic and understood their true dark nature. Eva was not all smiles and chuckles. She was a little tense a lot of the time, she had sad, dark eyes and she had a tendency to hiss. Part of me thought that she was convinced everyone was out to get her. She would hiss "preemptively" and then run away, for no good reason. Like one of those kids in the playground who yells "DON'T HIT ME!" even though nobody was going to hit them and then, as a result gets hit, because, let's face it, who could help themselves? Pickles and Bernie certainly couldn't. Usually Pickles was just trying to play, but I'm not sure Eva ever realized that. Or she did and she just didn't care.


Eva was, despite her independent streak, the most affectionate little kitty. Her love was sweet, awkward and all consuming...when she wanted to show it. She adored the Robeau, sitting on the back of the couch over his shoulder or on a cushion next to him more often than not. When he was eating something she wanted a taste of (pudding, often) she would reach her paw out and leave it there as if he would just hand her his spoon. That was odd and cute in a way I can't even begin to describe. In fact, Eva was both odd and cute, in a way that it is impossible to describe.

Eva inhabited the chairs around the kitchen table, walking around under there like she was in the jungle tree tops. In the last several months she developed an addiction to Friskies treats. You couldn't stand by the sink or open the cupboard where we kept them with out hearing her squeaky, insistent little "MEW!" and seeing her thin little white arm reaching out through the spokes on the back of the chair, waiting for us to hand her a treat. It was wonderful to see her so enthusiastic about something. I don't think we ever refused one of her requests.

It's lonely today, I think for all of us. Our friend is missing and we're figuring out what it's going to be like to not have her company anymore. It's not going to be easy, it never is, but I know how lucky we were (all of us, feline and human alike) to have been able to share our home with this sweet, loving, complicated creature.

Rock the Jazz Vote!

I've had the honour of being nominated for the Paul Hoeffler Jazz Photographer of the Year award at the 2008 National Jazz Awards.

You can vote for me, and all your favourite players and journalists who are nominated here

This year my jazz work has been published in Coda Magazine and The Toronto Star. I've recently been exhibited at Cajun Corner and Pages Books and Magazines on Queen West. Don't just blindly give me your vote though, take a look and make sure you like what you see first!

Thanks for your support, if you felt like spreading the work, I wouldn't say no (wink, wink)!