Today, while on my lunch break, I almost choked on my Booster Juice Citrus Splash Smoothee with blueberries instead of bananas and an energy booster of ginsing and bee pollen because Paul Simms is a very funny man. Simms started out writing for David Letterman, was later on the staff of the Larry Sanders Show and then created News Radio. This week, he's written the "Shouts and Murmurs" piece in the New Yorker. It's called
Four Short Crushes. Please do not read it if you are ingesting food or drink of any kind. Don't say I didn't warn you.