On avoiding the CLACK, CLACK, CLACK! of Wooden Teeth.

My life story can be told through a series of medieval and traumatic experiences at various dentist offices. Once my postpartum anxiety / PTSD situation happened (unrelated to dental work BUT) the idea of going to the dentist was pretty much unthinkable.

So here I've been sitting lo, these many months just letting the plaque accumulate and the red wine and coffee stain what's left of my teeth.  But so what? Who cares?  Everyone knows I'm just going to let them fall out and then insert new wooden ones myself with the help of a Youtube tutorial eventually.  Wooden teeth will be the next big thing.  "George Washington Chic" seems like something Hipsters might make happen, doesn't it?

So what could have possibly lead me to go get my teeth cleaned earlier this week?  The big motivator is some insurance money that is about to disappear into the ether and the other is that I actually found a practice that takes treating dental phobic people like myself seriously.  Ladies and Germs (under my tongue) I give you...

Hold my calls.

That's right.  Dentistry...ASLEEP.

Sure, I spent most of the night before my appointment in a panic over the anaesthetic and the whole thing was sort of a trigger for bad thoughts and anxiety BUT once I got there the next morning I knew that I'd made the right decision.

I had a lengthy consultation earlier in the week with a lovely nurse (Kathryn) and the dentist (Dr. Dann) which really helped me and then the day of the cleaning everyone who dealt with me was just incredible.  It was all very gentle, starting with a sleeping pill and numbing cream on the area where the iv went in.  Next thing I knew they were waking me up in recovery. Literally every other dentist I've been to has felt like a sadistic butcher.  I liked this guy so much I might even stay awake next time. Maybe.  Anyway, A+ to the whole team.

Post Dentistry...AWAKE!

It felt more like a trip to the spa then anything else!  The next couple of days were a bit of a challenge recovering (I KNOW how stupid that sounds, btw) but it was all worth it in the end.  It is located in Yorkville, so when the nurse in scrubs walked me out the front door of a low rise office building with my giant swollen duck lips and face-eating shades into the waiting car I'm sure everyone walking by thought "hey, she looks pretty great for an 80 year old...and look, she doesn't even have wooden teeth!"

A Children's Treasury of Bizarre Peanuts Gang Screen Caps and the Mother and Daughter who LOVE them.

The Peanuts Gang was a big part of my childhood.  They were one of my earliest obsessions with my allowance often spent on Peanuts comics and memorabilia.  My love for them has never wavered and I credit Charles M. Schulz's creations with helping to foster my love for jazz, baseball and Woody Allen movies.  Think about it.  What is Charlie Brown if not a young, mid-Western Alvy Singer?  Or, I suppose I should say, what is Alvy Singer if not an adult, North Eastern Charlie Brown?

I had always hoped that Lenny would love them, if not as much as I do (that's asking a lot) then I hoped she would at least enjoy them and find some pleasure in reading my old books and playing with my old toys.

This Summer, The Robeau took her to Canada's Wonderland where they saw what Lenny refers to as "Charlie Brown Musical".  A performance I would, no doubt, loathe with every fibre of my being, featuring giant-headed foam rubber characters gesturing wildly to the prerecorded, oddly chosen songs.  The purist in me would most certainly be cringing. But the thing is, she LOVES it.  She talks about it constantly, she sings the songs (including Centerfield which makes a great party trick) and does the dances. It has proven to be a gateway drug of the very best kind.

In the last couple of weeks her imagination has really begun to soar and we spend many days not as "Lenny, Mommy and Daddy" but as "Sally, Lucy and Charlie Brown".

Lenny: Hi...my Lucy!
Me: Hi Len...
Lenny: I'm Sally!
Me: Sorry...Hi Sally.
Lenny: That's OK my Leeeeeeeeeeeeewceeeeee!!!! Playa FOOTBALL?!?!?!

Sometimes The Robeau is Charlie Brown and sometimes he is "Womp Womp", which is what she calls the off-screen adults in the TV specials.  Oh, how I laughed and laughed at that one!

This is all too wonderful.  My anticipation for our viewing of the Christmas Special is running on overdrive already. What should I make to snack on?  Should we buy matching pyjamas?  Just kidding. Of course we should buy matching pyjamas.

One of my favourite discoveries during this period is a totally bizarre and wonderful PSA featuring the Peanuts Gang that was produced for the American Dental Association in 1978.  Thank you Youtube for your bounty and thank you child who screamed every time we tried to brush your teeth for driving me to the desperate point of googling "Charlie Brown Dentist".  Watch it here.  Or if you'd rather, here's a collection of screen caps from the video featuring what might possibly be some of my favourite moments on film. Ever.  I will never tire of these, of Snoopy's human teeth or of Linus looking like he's auditioning for an Al Jolson biopic. Now, grab yourself a disclosing tablet and enjoy!