Saturday
It was a rainy day, ordinary, like any other and I got a haircut. At first I wasn't so sure that it was sitting right on the top of my head. Convinced myself it was just a styling issue - when I wash it myself all will be well. Denial.
Sunday
Wore a baseball cap and stayed home. The Robeau said, and I quote "What? It looks fine". Denial and Isolation.
Monday
Realized that I actually had bangs - and that they were flying off the top of my forehead in a feathered fashion. Also realized that I looked like I should be eating lunch at the TD centre food court in my sad skirt suit and Princess Reebocks. Anger.
Tuesday
Decide to paste the bangs down on my forehead in a 60's style sweep with a half beehive, headband, flip combo. Big hit with the office folks - especially Reimer who likes retro hairstyles and mudflap girls and takes me out for Whiskey Sours after work. Promise myself to learn to enjoy the long, involved styling process every morning. Bargaining.
Wednesday
Just pin them back with a bobby pin - not as successful - start feeling very insecure - like I was 13 all over again. Didn't I grow my bangs out 20 years ago??? Not good. Depression.
Thursday
Discover Spray Gel is helpful in keeping them flat - until the end of the day when I look like a middle aged GO train riding suburban mom again. Ask self, "Why me?" and then, "What would Oprah do?". Depression lingers.
Friday
Am trying a kind of curl to the side action - success level tbd. Am not hopeful. Suspect that by mid-day I will be sporting the "Superman" curl in the middle of my forehead. Zee Noixy, when informed about this week's turn of events asks me to take a digital photo so she can "check out that lid". Laughter. Acceptance.
Yeah. I'm looking for the photographic evidence of this disaster! BT
ReplyDeleteI am going to humbly suggest you keep looking. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteThe Miles cap IS coming in awfully handy though :)
BT again.
ReplyDeleteWaaay back in the seventies I would head to the salon in search of cute little "do". I always ended up looking like Pete Rose. It would make my baby-baby-baby sister cry.
For decades, my mother has wanted a haircut like Kathryn Hayes. Actually, she wants Kathryn Hayes face (but I won't tell her that).
It is a sad fact of life that no haircut can give you the face of Kathryn Hayes, only the face of Pete Rose!
LOL Thanks, BT - that Pete Rose comment made me spew coffee out my nose. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteDecide to paste the bangs down on my forehead in a 60's style sweep with a half beehive, headband, flip combo.
ReplyDeleteThe laws of physics (y'know, "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction" - also Our Friend Gravity) would suggest that the down in "60's style sweep"/up in "half beehive" + "flip combo" just cancel each other out, dude...
May I humbly suggest that this is *still* better than the Tug McGraw look? (Hee....!)
TUG MCGRAW!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh God Ellen, Why?
Why Tug McGraw?
ReplyDeleteBecause he was on the mound when the Phils won the 1980 World Series, that's why... [Giggling in background.]
You guys are too much! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat? It looks fine.
ReplyDeleteClaytons. Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteArgh! Typo alert - I meant the 1981 series.
ReplyDelete