Top Chef Canada Episode 9 Recap: My Lost Week

So last week, after a lovely meal at Ruby Watchco with some of my best girls I fell down, as I am prone to do, and broke my wrist.  The cast on my right arm that isolates my thumb has made functioning pretty difficult.  But I'm getting better at typing with my left hand and I'm starting to feel a little less sorry for myself, so let's celebrate by firing up the PVR and doing a mini-recap of an Episode of a televised cooking competition that's a full week past its expiration date!



Hey! I've missed these assholes and their gang signs.

Headband and Trevor are doing yoga on the glamourous TORONTO! balcony while The only French man in Calgary smokes a cigarette.

QUICKFIRE!

Spenny is the guest judge! This actually pleases me!  The chefs need to buy some dried and packaged food out of a vending machine and then make something yummy with everything they buy.

All of these snacks look gross, but the worst was David's which was...impossible to explain.  Golden Boy Carl failed as well.  Trevor wins it for Pork Rind battered Chicken Wings.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE

These poor bastards have to go camping.  They're all acting like they are excited about this challenge. Cooking outside! Making a fire! LIARS. Who would want to do this???

Trevor gets his own tricked out tent with a bed and a carpet. He's so pleased he says things like "here's my shag carpet...here's my single bed...what UP!"  Awesome.

"I grew up camping a lot with my parents but as soon as I found out about hotels I never wanted to go back to camping..." - The only French man in Calgary aka The only Honest person on Top Chef Canada.

Why do people always act like being outdoorsy equals an emphasis on family?  I love my family.  I don't want to make them sleep in a tent.

After a night of terrible sleep the chefs need to make a "wild brunch" featuring a secret ingredient (each one different gamey animal).

So we're starting fires, braising meat and stomping on spiders.  Everyone is still amused by Crazy Dave, who, if I'm being honest is a little scary.

The judges arrive, including Roger Mooking and Not-Padma in a plaid shirt.  We are camping after all.

Headband's Guinea Hen that he made on a MacGyver style bbq is a big hit.

Roger Mooking: Not into camping.  +1 Roger, +1.

Trevor's Pheasant looks yummy, especially because there's a poached egg on it. It is my personal belief that it takes an accomplished chef to poach an egg.  That shit isn't easy!  Everyone's impressed.  It's a good week for Trevor.

Carl has also included a poached egg with his Duck and it's also delicious, apparently.  Three for three!

Ryan made a Rabbit dish that's just too fatty.

The only French man in Calgary made a Partridge that is yummy, but too rich and not "brunchy" enough.

Trista's Squab is a BIG hit. She knocked it out of the park.

Crazy Dave is "taking risks" again and while he's serving his Quail storm winds start blowing. Ca-razy!

Oh, we're back in Toronto. Thank gawd.

Trevor, Trista, Carl and Headband enter the blue room of death and hold their breath until they're told that they're the top four.  Trista wins!  She's shocked. I'm shocked.  Maybe she's going to start bringing her A-game.

Ryan, Crazy Dave and The only French man in Calgary get raked over the coals.  But it is Ryan that has to pack his knives and go.  Aaawww, poor Ryan.  He's alright, that Ryan.  I would not have wanted to eat that rabbit though.

Next week...oh, wait a minute...next week is this week! Top Chef Canada Marathon!