Review: Medieval Times Toronto


Good morrow my fair readers. What ho! Pray tell, how fare thee on this day of providence?  Sorry.  I'm still revelling in the good times we just had at Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament.

Chicken leg in hand, paper crown on head.  This kid is in heaven.

When we arrived Lenny was in tears (not her default) because the elastic we had securing her ponytail was tugging on her hair and let me tell you, this child is some tender headed.  The actress who played The Princess in the show was greeting and taking pictures with the guests as they arrived.  When she saw how sad poor Lenny looked she took the time to kneel down, dry Lenny's tears, take the offending elastic out of her hair and replace it with a softer one she had in her pocket.

Who does that?

Did that even happen?

I think she might be a real Princess!

Here's the picture they took together.  

Lenny looks grumpy, I realize.  I'd like to think it's because she's mostly overwhelmed, that such a lovely lady did such a lovely thing for her.  The reality is a little of that combined with anger at her parents for not being as good at doing hair as The Princess.  At this point, so impressed was I with The Princess that the meal could have been poison and the show could have consisted of two old ladies on hobby horses and I still would have been all YOU GUYS, MEDIEVAL TIMES IS THE BEST! 

Happily, that wasn't the case.

You want pageantry?  Horse ballet like you saw on the news when Ann Romney's horse was in the Olympics?  You want to see a Falcon?  Flying?  Yeah?  They've got that!  You know what else is cool?  The iconic paper crown.  It really is a sort of equalizer.  You're all wearing one.  You're in this together.

There is something very appealing, on a visceral level, about eating with your hands, waving a flag and cheering at the top of your lungs.  It's like a sporting event without all the heartache of rooting for a real team with real life consequences at stake, crossed with a theatrical event without all the worrying about keeping your kid quiet.

Go ahead and yell, kids.  Stomp your feet, drink that grog.  You're at Medieval Times!

The food may not be gourmet, but it is yummy.  Keep in mind, you're eating it mostly in the dark and with your hands.  It's not supposed to be delicate.  The roasted chicken was really as good as just about any I've had in a restaurant.  Juicy and tender with a nice lemon flavour.  The service from our waiter...errr...serf (?) was great.  I'm guessing that's not the easiest gig in the world and he was friendly and efficient.  He was no Melinda, that's for sure.

Perhaps the most impressive part of the show was the fight choreography.  These guys aren't kidding around.  The stage craft is really impressive!

Before we even left the building Lenny said twice that this was "the BEST dinner EVER!"

I think it's safe to say we'll be back someday.  In the meantime, I'm prepared to play "Knight", "Princess Ponytail" and "Battle" every day for the next little while.


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  1. That is so cool! Your princess is a very talented former student of mine (as is your husband). :-) I have passed the link to this review on to her. Glad you al had fun.

    1. Geri, that is INCREDIBLE!!! Thanks for letting us know! :)

  2. We took Janet and two of her friends for her eighth birthday. Always meant to go back someday. Such fun!!

    1. I feel like Lenny and Janet need to go together next time. That's the only way Lenny could have a better time.


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