Top Chef Canada Episode 6 Recap: RESTAURANT WARS!


You want this slaw in your mouth. Trust.

Oh, we're not wasting any time today.  RESTAURANT WARS WEEK!!!!


Soup and sandwich motherfuckers!  DO IT!  Gabrielle get off the counter.  What the?

"I am so jealous of Jimmy. He's 23 years old and he's awesome." - The only French man in Calgary, who clearly is losing something in translation.

Curtis made a Po Boy, ensuring he will be in my good books forever.  Or at least until later this episode.  Gabriell made Butter-Toasted Bread with Rosemary Soup which I think might be awesome, along with a prosciutto sandwhich that looks simple and lovely, but that doesn't mean it tastes any good.  Jimmy thanks Not-Padma and not Mark after they taste his Lobster Roll and whatever else.  Oh, Jimmy.  Trista made Tomato Soup and a Tuna Steak Sandwich that looks pretty unappealing.  Headband's Chinese-style bbq chicken consomme has a lovely colour and his vietnamese style sub looks pretty good too.  Ryan made a biscuit instead of using the bread in the kitchen.  Carl's looks great.  Tomato, bacon, cheese.  Good stuff.

Headband NAILED it!  Ryan and his homemade biscuit and Carl's offering are hits as well, but Headband wins.  Carl, however wins 3 G's and his sandwich is going on a special Top Chef menu at Milestones.  Right on.  So.  Who sucked?  Gabrielle's soup was bland, Curtis' Po Boy had no flavour so I'm clear to dislike Curtis again.  Trista's sucked too, which is no shock, it looked awful.

Gabriell has to pack his knives and go.  Which is almost a relief because it was becoming difficult to watch him fail week after week.  Ba-bye.


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's SUSUR!

Headband, who used to work for Susur is the first team Captain and he gets to choose the Captain of the opposing team.  It looks like it's difficult for him to make a strategic choice but then he knocks it out of the park again by appointing Elizabeth who seems to be universally disliked.

Strategy sessions in the glamorous condo.  Headband is freaking out about Susur.  Calm down, Headband!

The only French man in Calgary sings a little ditty "sweating like a pig" while he walks through the kitchen at Lee.  I am amused.

Headband's team is called FABLE which stands for "farm to table".  Clever.  Rustic, simple but refined, yada yada.

Elizabeth's team is called TRUE NORTH. They're doing items from all across the country.  They have a veggie option that's not on the menu.  Weird.  It all looks weird.

Trevor is working the front of house for FABLE.  Curtis calls him suave. Hardy Har Har.

The orders start coming in and Elizabeth can't call the line.  Ouch.

The judges show up and Ryan is all "Helloooooo...welcoooooome to Trooooo No-orth" - and Liz still can't run the kitchen.  Not good.  They be crashing and they be burning.  Once the food comes out though, the judges like it, except the soup.  Jimmy takes over calling.

Not-Padma's boobs are totally distracting.

The first impressions of the mains are good, but then the judges start eating.  It's still a mess in the kitchen.  Jimmy has taken over and Elizabeth is pouting.

I would not want to eat at TRUE NORTH.

Levi Bent Lee looks a little like if Al Pacino ever played Mowgli in the Jungle Book.

Trevor is doing much better at front of house then Ryan did, much to my surprise.  The apps, however are not well received.  The team is working well together though, correcting seasonings and communicating nicely.

The mains look great.  Especially the Beef from Carl.  Mmmmmm.

Dessert is headed for a distaster.  Curtis' cherry sorbet is melting.  Trevor's all "we can't defend that".  Bummer.


TRUE NORTH gets called in first which totally debunks my theory from last week about the winners getting called in first.  No way these guys won.  The only French man in Calgary gets raked over the coals for his duck, Trista's dessert was lame and Ryan's soup was cold and too sweet which was Jimmy's fault.  His front of house skills were slammed as well.  Jimmy's Potato Risotto was no good, terrible and bad.  Elizabeth takes no responsibilities for her failure as a leader and Jimmy Stewart throws her under the bus.  Elizabeth is now straight up lying.  Lady.  Come on.  Headband's strategy worked.

FABLE goes into the blue room of death and gets told that they are the winners.  They're shocked.  They thought there would be two losers this week.  That's kind of adorable, guys.  They worked really well as a team and praise Headband's leadership.  He tells a very heartwarming story about how his headband today has a page from his notebook from when he worked with Susur silk screened on it.  He looks like he might cry.  Susur is gracious.  The winner on the team, for best dish is Carl for his strip loin which looked ah-mazing.  Two weeks in a row for Carl.  Yummers.

So Elizabeth is going home, right?

Or will it be Jimmy for turning out bad food and throwing a team member under the bus?

Or will it be Ryan for being awkward?

Or the only French man in Calgary for turning in the most hated dish?

Or Trista for sucking yet again?


Back in the blue room of death Not-Padma's boobs tell Elizabeth, her bad attitude and her accent to pack her knives and go.  Watch your back YIMMY, she might pack them right into your smug back.

Insincere hugs all around and Elizabeth says "Honestly, I've never worked with such a bunch of assholes in my life."  Do not go gentle into that good night, Bitch.

Next week Richard Blaze is the guest judge and Jimmy Stewart is all starry eyed.  Dude...leave the foam at home!!!  See you next week, Suckers!


  1. Spot on Nolan. My top 3 so far: headband-sweet yet stealth, Golden Boy Carl and Xavier-who doesn't love a singing French Chef.

  2. I'm so with you! LOL! Jen is rooting for Headband too. I think we need to go to Milestones and try Carl's sammy.

  3. I'm in for milestones. Bacon will not be my Waterloo; I'll bring extra percocet!

  4. Dude. Your dedication to crispy pork products is an inspiration.


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