|What a difference 365 days makes!|
This time last year, I was lying in a hospital bed, my newborn lying on my chest. I was drowsy, perhaps from being awake for 24 hours, but more likely from the IV bag of Benadryl they were pumpng into my system to keep me from scratching off my own face on account of the morphine they'd pumped into my system earlier. I was like the old lady who lived in a shoe. Except instead of a fly and a spider, they'd sent narcotics and antihistamines down inside me.
For the record, I did not, like the old shoe lady, know what to do.
The first day with Lenny was a blur of cuddly naps in our sun drenched room and visits from friends and family. Everyone remarked on how alert she was and on how beautiful she was. Pink and perfect. Just because everyone says these things about every baby ever born in the history of babies being born, I thought, doesn't mean they aren't true this time.
I knew I would love my kid. I was fairly certain I'd like her too. What I didn't realize a year ago is that I'd want to be like her. In my life, I never imagined that somebody could spread so much happiness and joy in 365 short days. Every day I find myself trying to be more like her. Freer with a smile, a laugh, a hello. Open to everything life has to offer. I find myself thinking that if we were all a little bit more like Lenny - resilient, fun, accepting - then the world would be a much better place.
Thank you, baby girl, for the most wonderful year, filled with your laugh and your smile and thank you for the lessons you teach me every single day. I love you, birthday girl. And I always, always will.