It's LEARLY!

14.4.07

Bloggy McBloggerson, I am typing this with the cold certainty that only those of us that are up at 4am have, that this post will be both riddled with spelling mistakes and completely incohearant. Doesn't matter though. It's 4am. That "food poisoning, or was it flu thing" from earlier in the week has mostly cleared up, mostly, but the residual stuff lingers on like an uncertain tummy and a strange inability to sleep. I'm pretty sure it was the Norwalk Virus, Bloggy. I know an increasing number of people who have been dealt the same hand over the last week and one of them said that her son, who is in med school or something, diagnosed it as Norwalk. I want to whisper "Norwalk" the way Eugene Morris Jerome talks about people whispering "cancer". In fact, from now on, I think I will. And I don't think that is the least bit affected, thanks for asking.

So what to do at 4am other run a picture of yourself and the Robeau through this "face recognition thing" you heard about tonight from Nug at Second City before the improv set? Should be good for a laugh, right? Holy crap. I'm going to be laughing about this one quite heartily and might I add, for at the very least the rest of my natural life (which I am hoping won't be cut short by the Norwaaaaalk).



My reactions went something like this:

Who the hell is Matthew Lilard? No, seriously, who the hell is Matthew Lillard? This thing doesn't work.

Ooooh, Tim Robbins. He nice, me likey. Good job internet, I guess I do have a type.

Patrick Swayze? Eew. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be a good thing, but first of all, WHAT? and yeah, eew. No. Just no.

Cuba Gooding Jr., huh, well, that's actually kind of accurate. What do you know? Even if he is a little too...earnest.

MALCOLM X?????????

Is it wrong that the internet thinking my lily white boyfriend looks like Malcolm X makes me incredibly happy? How COULD that be wrong? How could that EVER be wrong? Especially since it is well documented that Malcolm X is my favourite movie of all time. Thank you internet, this is a gift on soooo many levels.

The only thing even close to being that funny is Heston and Moore next to each other. Cause you know, that scene in "Bowling for Columbine" where Moore goes to Heston's house I kept thinking "who's who here?" and "my GOD they both look like the Robeau"!

My deepest regret is that for some reason the internet decided to show me "David Soul" (again, who?) on the version that I could post to Blogger and omit two of my faves from the original face scan LARRY KING and JERRY STILLER!!!!!!! LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN...LARRY KING. AND. JERRY STILLER. Gah!!!! Must stop thinking of this, as laughing post-Norwalk is difficult and loud at 4am.



Kate Bosworth? Meh. Trampy blonde. And come on, really?

EVA LONGORIA? Has the internet no concept of the size of my thighs? Puh-leeze.

Oh, wait a minute, Kelly Clarkson. The internet does know about my thighs.

Hey, Sela Ward! She's pretty. I'm gonna tell my Mom the internet thinks I look like Sela Ward. I wonder if Sela Ward ever had Norwalk?

HILLARY CLINTON????? But I always thought I looked like Monica Lewinsky. In fact, back in the day, people used to say to me "no offense, but you look like Monica Lewinsky." And then I would have to hit them. Because yeah, you know, I wasn't offended. She's a pretty girl. Shut up. If she was good enough for Bill, she's good enough for me. Or something like that. Shut up.

Kate Hudson? I wish. Or do I? I mean, I'd miss my bra. And I really don't want to have to wear UGG boots.

Hey - Ann Hathaway! They're so wrong, but it's OK, I'll tell the Robeau the internet thinks I look like Ann Hathaway. I wonder if Ann Hathaway ever had Norwalk?

Jebus, it's late. Or early. Or is it learly? That's like the brunch of insomnia. I think I'd better go Bloggy, time to write a shopping list for tomorrow...including Tylenol Simply Sleep. Then maybe some shut eye. And some weird dreams about what the writing staff of Conan could do with all of our celeb lookalikes in the "If they mated" segment. Come on - you KNOW you want to see what the love child of Larry King and Kate Bosworth looks like. Don't even try to tell me you don't.


6 comments :

  1. Hey! I got Anne Hathaway and Kelly Clarkson too. We must look alike.

    PS. When I first saw Robeau I thought "Is that Malcom X?" True story.

    Go to sleep.

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  2. haha... You might have to switch to a career as a celebrity-impersonator!

    You need some sleep!!

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  3. I'm scared to try the celebrity lookalike thing. People used to tell me I looked like Molly Ringwald, but who knows WHAT they would say now! ("You look like Molly Ringwald, only old." "You kind of look like that lady on that show...wait, no you don't." "Hey, you look just like my best friend from back home!")

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  4. P.S. I was once told by a 13 year-old that I look like Conan O'Brian. It's a dirty lie, though, and what was she doing up that late, anyway?

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  5. You are hilarious. I love your comments on your and your cute boyfriend's "look-alikes".

    I DESTROYED the page after seeing mine!

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  6. Matthew Lillard played Shaggy in those Scooby Doo movies. And David Soul? Seriously? Have you never seen the Starsky & Hutch tv show from the '70s? You are. SO. Missing. OUT.

    Hope you're feeling better, btw.

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