One empty blog entry stands before me...


It's official...It only took the show running for six seasons...I've now become obsessed with America's Next Top Model. What's funnier than watching Tyra Banks play the grande dame of modeling, dispensing advice on how to smile with your eyes? "This is just my face. OK, now this is me smiling with my eyes." Seriously! Come on! It's GOLD!

I've been enjoying this cycle mostly because of the girls that made it to the top three, Danielle, Joanie and Jade. Joanie, referring to Jade in last week's installment of "Walk, Stand and Butcher the English Language" said "When she sits next to me, all I smell is just...bitch". That is brilliant. I plan on borrowing that one. Frequently. Don't believe me? Come on, sit next to me...

Joanie's a smart girl and she's a good model and she should probably win the competition but Jade = great TV. That one is truly, truly, bat-shit insane. She cursed during a cover girl commercial! Come on! She says things like "sometimes I'm just too much for them to WIDTHHANDLE" and "CUTTHROATINGNESS" and "ANALYSTIC" and "DECIPHERATION" and what I think might be my personal fave "TORNNESS". "Thank you for CONSIDERATING me". You're welcome Jade. You go girl!!!!

Danielle is talented and spunky but is probably only still around because it allows Tyra the opportunity to show off her "acting" skills when she does Danielle's "ghetto" Little Rock accent back at her at every week's elimination. "Every week the judges say they're not sure about "deeees". SOMEONE GIVE THAT WOMAN AN OSCAR ALREADY!!!

I'm a little sad that next week is the season finale. I've come to enjoy my weekly does of fierce strut. Sigh. I hope that whoever wins remembers "when you become a top model your face becomes a household name". Ahem. As the late great Janice Dickenson would say, "Au Revoir Bitches"!


  1. "Tornness"? Like Rip T., you mean? ;)

  2. I have a new fantasy now. And it involves Mr. Torn as a panelist on this terrible/wonderful show!

  3. More fantasy casting, eh?!

  4. Jade is such an asshat! but she makes great television.


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