Four Girls Walk Into An Outlet Mall...

30.5.06

Last weekend, three girls (yours truly, Zee Noixy and DJ VL) walked into a jeep and drove all the way to Ottawa to pick up the fourth girl (Momster) for the express purpose of some female bonding, Canadian style. That's right, you got it, cross border shopping!

After a quiet evening in Momster's hood of Bar Haven, just outside of Ottawa - home of not just Momster, but also fields of grass, endless townhomes, and cows, who did not react to me yelling "You're delicious" at them from the car - we headed out the next morning to make the four hour drive to Upstate New York. At the border crossing, the guard says "Where you headed? Shopping?". When we asked him how he knew he said "I've seen it a million times, four women in a car, smiling...!" We didn't even know at that point what awaited us in Waterloo, NY. We didn't know about the expanse of upscale retailers all selling their goods at bargain basement prices! We didn't know that the rush of that kind of shopping experience makes even the smell of cow poop from the nearby farms bearable. The shopping was that good people! The place didn't even lack atmosphere. There was a Dixieland band playing tunes!





Some of the other pretty things to see between stops at Ann Taylor, Banana Republic and Coach...



Once it was all over, the damage done...



Frankly, we could have called it a weekend then, but we didn't. Still to come: Montezuma Winery, The Olive Garden, Target (read: Tarjay) and the beauty of Upstate New York and Kingston Ontario.

One question remains unanswered - will the girls make it across the border with all their goods? Would ANYONE believe that they only spent $50 each?! DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUMB!!!!!

On High School Bands and Jazz Greats

25.5.06

Hey Bloggy McBloggerson. I know it's been over a week. I wasn't giving you the silent treatment, just really busy at CSIS. Oh, but Bloggy McBloggerson before there was the week from h-e-double hockey sticks at CSIS there was the weekend of music. The wonderful, fabulous, weekend of music...music so grande it almost made up for the fact that the weather in the t-dot over the long weekend was hovering around freezing with whipping winds and rain, rain, rain. Blech.

Last Thursday, my awesome niece Janet, who is awesome and plays the flute had her grade 10 music night. Have I mentioned that she's awesome? Well, she is. Besides, what's more fun than a high school music night? When you get bored clenching your ears at the horrible vocal ensemble you can try to pin point who the bitchiest and trampiest girls in said horrible vocal ensemble are. Or if that gets dull you can unclench your ears and listen to the grandmother of the best flute player in the school bitch about how the music teacher is pulling focus from the kids because she's dressed like a tramp. You see how a bitch/tramp theme began to emerge there? And I haven't even begun to touch on how I'm turning into my mother, because that opens up a whole 'nother can of worms on the bitchy/trampy front.

I keeeed.

At any rate, Janet was fab in the concert band and the orchestra and I'm certain she will shine even more in the years to come. The kid's a big fish in a little pond over there. She's a superstar, I tell ya.

Speaking of big fish in little ponds, last Friday the Robeau and I attended A Tribute to Don Thompson at the inaugural Art of Jazz Celebration taking place at the Distillery District. The evening featured Don Thompson on vibes, piano and bass, Jim Hall on guitar, John Handy on alto sax, Dave Holland on bass, Terry Clarke on drums and Phil Dwyer on piano and tenor sax.

Don Thompson is one of those true greats, the kind of artist I fear we take for granted here in Canada. He is a gifted multi instrumentalist, a composer, arranger, teacher and has played over the years with the likes of Paul Desmond, Lenny Breau, Art Farmer, Milt Jackson, Kenny Wheeler, George Shearing and Sonny Greenwich, just to name a few. The genius musicians assembled that night for the tribute have all worked extensively with Thompson and obviously feel very fondly towards him, as, of course, did the small and appreciative audience.

Thompson is almost as well known for his clipped, monotone way of speaking as his musical prowess. Every single time he got up there to tell a story or to introduce a tune I had to stifle giggles. You see everyone, even those on the very edges of the jazz community in Toronto has an impression of Thompson's unique speaking voice. To hear him talk at such length was a hoot. Most gigs I've seen him play over the years you're lucky if he introduces a tune. It's hard to describe, but he's so endearing.

The music that night was without parallel. From Thompson's composition in tribute to Charlie Parker "Bird Bath" to standards like "Just Friends" the group tore it up. Handy was a true entertainer, Hall hasn't been in Toronto in my lifetime so I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to see him live. I really like his warm, fuzzy sound. Terry Clarke has no equals. Dave Holland played a phenomenal solo piece that left me breathless. Afterwards the Robeau commented that I looked delighted after that piece. Indeed, I was...it was some of the most evocative musical storytelling I've ever witnessed, all without the aid of lyrics or even other instruments. Phil Dwyer, who is no stranger in these parts, is in many ways Thompson's heir apparent. I've seen him play tenor live a bunch (he even has a killer solo on the Clayton/Scott Group album "So Nice"!) but I'd never seen him play piano. I guess in the back of my mind I assumed since it was his secondary instrument he wouldn't shine the way he does on sax. Boy, when I'm wrong, I'm spectacularly wrong. The man's a freak. He may have been the most talented one on stage that night, even among his teachers and elders.

Later that weekend we caught two shows, back to back in the duo series at The Art of Jazz. Kenny Barron & Eddie Henderson and Ravi Coltrane & Luis Perdomo. They couldn't have been more different from each other yet they were both very enjoyable. I'll write more on those later. Right now I'm off to pack for a long weekend trip to Ottawa to hang with some girlfriends and maybe even drive to Waterloo, New York to do some cross-border shopping. Good. Times.

A Queen always beats a Straight

18.5.06


Since all my blog entries seem to be about television shows lately it must mean one thing...May sweeps! Tonight marks the series finale of "Will & Grace" on NBC. As previously established here on ol' Bloggy McBloggerson, I do live in an urban bleeding heart bubble. So when a show hit the airwaves eight years ago about a gay man and his straight female roommate I wasn't scandalized, or even all that interested. Don't hate me for my limited world view. It just didn't seem like that big of a deal. A season or two in I caught an episode and was hooked by the sharp writing and how they captured that catty, sparkling and often shallow world of fags and their hags. I especially liked that they also managed to work some real character development in there without sacrificing "the funny". They did deal with some heavy stuff, but you never felt like you were watching a "very special" episode of "Will & Grace". The cast was all top notch and the guest stars including Gregory Hines, Harry Connick Jr and perhaps funnier than anyone, ever, Alec Baldwin, made the show worth watching. It sure as hell didn't hurt that James Burrows directed every single episode they ever shot.

There has been buzz that the finale will be more "far reaching" than most which makes me suspect they're going to go all "Mad About You" on our asses and do some time jumping...hopefully it doesn't have the sad, melancholy tone that one did. I didn't even really care about the characters on "Mad About You" and that finale made me want to slit my wrists!

There has been a lot of talk in the media about how "Will & Grace" isn't relevant anymore. When I see these stories and oped pieces I'm reminded of two things. One: that I didn't think it was relevant *at all* in the beginning and Two: how wrong I was.

You see, five years ago I worked for in post production and distribution for a film company that worked in large format (like Imax, kind of). I was in charge of operating the large format film projector in our office's screening room. Really big film, really big projector and usually, really big technical problems. One day, I had a technical problem and called our tech support guy who should have done one of two things; walked me through the problem over the phone or tell me that it was not fixable and to give up. Those were his options. Instead, he went with this, "I think your negative energy is affecting the equipment.  Will you say a prayer with me right now over the phone so we can send the equipment the right messages?".  When I turned him down he got all snotty with me. So, I offended a co-worker because I refused to pray over a machine with him.   Banner day for me. A few weeks later he came into the office to give me a crash course on repairing the equipment. We sat in the dark of the screening room and he told me he got rid of his TV that week. Because TV was what was wrong with this society. Because instead of shows like "Leave it to Beaver" we were stuck with things like "that garbage Will & Grace where a gay man lives with a straight woman!" This smelly, hateful, born again, homophobic ASSCLOWN was actually angry that a show like "Will & Grace" was on the air. He blamed it for the downfall of society! I wanted to run, I wanted to scream, I wanted to come up with a really good lesbian joke about "Leave it to Beaver". Instead, I told him that the year before, on Halloween, my friend Chelsea and I went to a costume party as two characters from "Will & Grace" - Karen Walker and her maid Rosario. I told him that I got drunk on martinis and that all the gay guys there thought my tits were fabulous.

OK, I didn't say that last bit, about my tits, even though it was true.

So, "Will & Grace" was relevant and more importantly, it was well crafted, funny television that gained an audience far larger than the bigots would assume. Families, kids, old people, straight and gay alike have enjoyed this show over the last eight years. I like that kind of quiet, humour laced progress. Almost as much as I like a good martini. And my fabulous tits.

Love, Love me DON'T

18.5.06


You may have heard the news yesterday of the Mills/McCartney split, but did you know that she left him for a Newfie seal pup? It's true. She left him for *this very* seal pup. And they blamed the MEDIA....please!

What's Next?

15.5.06

After seven seasons, 24 Emmys and two TV Presidents The West Wing called it quits last night. The series finale was comforting and moving, if predictable. I'm not complaining, mind you. I quite like predictable. I was pleased with the pace the show took the last few weeks, tying up loose ends and giving the characters that we've grown to love the time to have meaningful endings. The show was never really "the same" after Aaron Sorkin left, but that didn't stop it from being better than most of the other shows on television. I am thrilled to know that Toby was pardoned, that CJ, Danny, Josh and Donna have personal lives and that Santos will continue to govern fictional America with the same resolve that President Bartlet did. We don't really know what's next, but we can imagine that it would be great; filled with witty banter, high ideals and yes, lots and lots of pedeconferencing.

Your box sets for seasons 1-5 not quite filling the void that was left when the Bartlet's flew home? Check out this thorough and sort of kooky website:
  • Bartlet for America


  • Can't decide which character you're going to miss the most?
  • Take this quiz

  • And find out which West Wing character you are! Goofy? Hell, yeah. But whoever put this together was very clever with their approach and frankly, I'd like to know who I'm dealing with, so if any of my regular readers are so inclined, take the quiz and let me know. Who's out there?

    If the name Chandler Bing means nothing to you, but the name Joe Quincy sets your heart a-racing...if you think that Aaron Sorkin's grocery list would be worth a read...if you live in Canada and didn't get to see the preview that aired for Studio 60 on Sunset Strip last night...here it is, courtesy of youtube!
  • Trailer for Sunset 60

  • That, my friends, is what's next.

    One empty blog entry stands before me...

    11.5.06


    It's official...It only took the show running for six seasons...I've now become obsessed with America's Next Top Model. What's funnier than watching Tyra Banks play the grande dame of modeling, dispensing advice on how to smile with your eyes? "This is just my face. OK, now this is me smiling with my eyes." Seriously! Come on! It's GOLD!

    I've been enjoying this cycle mostly because of the girls that made it to the top three, Danielle, Joanie and Jade. Joanie, referring to Jade in last week's installment of "Walk, Stand and Butcher the English Language" said "When she sits next to me, all I smell is just...bitch". That is brilliant. I plan on borrowing that one. Frequently. Don't believe me? Come on, sit next to me...

    Joanie's a smart girl and she's a good model and she should probably win the competition but Jade = great TV. That one is truly, truly, bat-shit insane. She cursed during a cover girl commercial! Come on! She says things like "sometimes I'm just too much for them to WIDTHHANDLE" and "CUTTHROATINGNESS" and "ANALYSTIC" and "DECIPHERATION" and what I think might be my personal fave "TORNNESS". "Thank you for CONSIDERATING me". You're welcome Jade. You go girl!!!!

    Danielle is talented and spunky but is probably only still around because it allows Tyra the opportunity to show off her "acting" skills when she does Danielle's "ghetto" Little Rock accent back at her at every week's elimination. "Every week the judges say they're not sure about "deeees". SOMEONE GIVE THAT WOMAN AN OSCAR ALREADY!!!

    I'm a little sad that next week is the season finale. I've come to enjoy my weekly does of fierce strut. Sigh. I hope that whoever wins remembers "when you become a top model your face becomes a household name". Ahem. As the late great Janice Dickenson would say, "Au Revoir Bitches"!

    Read All About It!

    10.5.06

    Two more of my CD reviews have been published at All About Jazz. If you are so inclined, here are the links:

  • Moncef Genoud - Aqua

  • Soesja Citroen - Don't Cry Baby
  • Jack Bauer Appreciation Day!

    9.5.06


    Somebody, somewhere has decided that May 9th is Jack Bauer appreciation day. I'll get on board for that even though in my world, every day is Jack Bauer appreciation day...
  • All About Jack Bauer
  • Day Five, continued: Miss Fran and Mr. Ray

    7.5.06

    We headed back to Baton Rouge that afternoon and stopped in on the Robeau's old neighbours, keeping in mind he only lived there for two years and this was some twenty-six years ago. But Miss Fran and Mr. Ray were still there and remembered the Robeau and his family like it was yesterday. They were the most endearing, entertaining and welcoming couple you could ever want to meet. By the end of our visit which lasted a few hours, I felt like family. Their aging french poodle, Jean Claude was pretty great too.

    From Miss Fran and Mr. Ray's front yard:



    Miss Fran and Mr. Ray with the Robeau:



    After our visit Mr. Ray drove us back to the hotel, we picked up some take out and watched 24 from our room. After a good night's sleep it was off to the Baton Rouge airport where I took one last deep breath of that sweet smelling air and boarded the plane home.

    All in all it was a pretty wonderful trip. Not even a week after getting back I'm starting to phase the not so great memories out of my mind...I think it's fair to let yourself be a little revisionist when it comes to vacations.

    Getting away is nice, especially because it reminds you why home is home.

    Day Five, continued: Fresh Hot Beignets!

    7.5.06

    Cafe du Monde was the single most exciting culinary experience of our trip. I hesitate to mention how many times I went there, both for sit down and take out. To describe the hot, golden, crispy beignet dusted in powdered sugar is all but impossible. It's one of those man made artery clogging miracles that you truly need to taste first hand to understand.

    The cafe itself is sprawling, casual and very European. I would return to Nola if only for this one precious spot.









    Day Five, continued: A Day Without Immigrants

    7.5.06

    After sitting a spell with Louis I found myself in the thick of the May Day protest, which called itself "a day without immigrants". The park was crammed with mostly Mexicans (some illegal, some legal) and many sympathizers. Note the gentleman waving the giant American flag at the gates of the park is wearing a CNN baseball cap. An effort, no doubt, to piss Lou Dobbs off.













    Day Five: Louis and Pete

    7.5.06

    On my last morning walk around Nola I stopped in a couple of music ledgends...Louis Armstrong and Pete Fountain.









    Day Four, continued: City Tour

    7.5.06

    Rather than try to brave it at Jazz Fest, when we knew we wouldn't have a good time we decided to book a city tour instead. The new rule is that we must do this the first day in any new city. The tour took us through the 20% of the city that wasn't demolished by Katrina including the lovely Garden District and an above ground cemetery. You can learn all about the method of burial in New Orleans here:
  • Dead City








  • Day Four: Another Walk

    7.5.06

    This time through the French Quarter to Jackson Square. A beautiful, green, artsy little enclave in the city's centre...convienently located near beignets and cafe latte. What more could you want?

    Look what I found around the corner from our hotel! That sure makes me feel at home...



    It's sometimes forgotten that the French Quarter, despite all of it's tourist trappings is still a neighbourhood. Imagine living here?



    In Jackson Square:





    Mr. Jackson, and his horse:



    Day Three, continued: Terence and Herbie

    7.5.06

    I was on my own that night for Terence Blanchard at Snug Harbor because try as he might, the poor Robeau just wasn't up to it. Dinner was mediocre, the line up was long and the Texan tourists were pushy, but it was all worth it. I've seen Terence in club settings four times in Toronto over the last twelve or so years, but experience has taught me that each time was unique and wonderful. This was no exception. Snug Harbor is a nice, intimate club that makes a mean cosmo and is clearly well known as one of the best clubs in town for a reason.

    What a pleasure to see these fine gentlemen perform that night...

    Terence Blanchard: Trumpet
    Brice Winston: Sax
    Aaron Parks: Piano
    Kendrick Scott: Drums
    Derrick Hodge: Bass
    Lionel Loueke: Guitar and Vocalese









    The set, which began close to 11pm after they had already played one long set at the club and an earlier set at Jazz Fest, started off with "Wandering Wonder" off of Terence's new release "Flow". That was followed by a long, inventive version of "I Thought About You" which never really ended, just morphed into a haunting solo trumpet version of "Ave Maria" which was enormously touching, for obvious reasons, coming as it did from this hometown boy.



    Then, a truly magical moment - Terence asked Herbie Hancock to join the band on stage. When we were standing in line earlier we saw Herbie enter the club. In fact, his entrance sparked my first outburst of the trip...the cranky woman in line behind me saw that Herbie and a few friends were let into the club. She kept shouting "They're letting all these people in and we're standing in line!" The woman wanted to be heard. So I answered. I wheeled around and said "Bitch! That's HERBIE HANCOCK!" Okay, the "Bitch" was silent, but I said it in my head. I am happy to say that a few fellow fans in the line applauded my little outburst. The woman looked completely perplexed. I'm sure she had no idea why everyone in the club lost their minds when the guy they "let in" sat down at the piano. Dumb ass. But I digress.

    Hancock took the stage and frankly, the rest of the number was not unlike an out of body experience. He opened the tune solo and it took a couple of minutes before anyone joined him. Lionel Loueke seemed the most uninhibited in Herbie's presence (he had played with him earlier at Jazz Fest). Terence seemed starstruck, despite the fact that Herbie Produced his most recent album on Blue Note and they obviously have a relationship. There was a moment during the number when everything shifted and these fine, fine musicians onstage who we all stood in line and paid good money to see were suddenly "with us". Herbie stood alone. It was unreal. I was sitting right up front and at one point, when Herbie was soloing, I looked at the woman sitting beside me and we shook our heads and laughed...then I looked up and caught Terence's eye and we did the same, in utter disbelief at the wonder of the moment.





    After Herbie left and youngster Aaron Parks reclaimed his perch at the piano they played one more number (Transform from "Bounce") and as good as they were earlier in the set, they were now playing at a whole different level of inventiveness. Terence and Brice Winston were both pitching in and playing percussion on their horns and the mic packs with their rings. Kendrick Scott pulled off a drum solo that left the crowd gasping for air and wanting more. I'd be hard pressed to think of another musical experience that left me feeling so much like I was a part of something. It was a truly incredible night. I'll never forget it.

    Day Three, continued: Walking on the Mississippi

    7.5.06

    Just when I was beginning to think that the high point of our trip, Preservation Hall, was going to be the only high point, I plugged in the ipod, BLASTED The Malcolm X Jazz Suite and went for a vigorous walk around the French Quarter and down to the Mississippi while the Robeau recouped at the hotel. This walk was cleansing and inspiring because I got see beyond Bourbon Street and Jazz Fest to a place with more character and culture. New Orleans is chock full of great public art. Here are some pics I snapped on the walk that renewed my faith in my vacation. This would be the first of many walks over the course of the trip. It was one of the best things I did.













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